Recently I have been reminded that no matter what habits you lose as you age there are some that stay with you as you go through life even into the so called Golden Years.  You can be sure that there are many things that get forgotten, lose their meaning, seem less significant are not important anymore and in some ways it is sad to see what one lets go of as they age. Because some of those same things may have been so important to them earlier in their lives.

What A Woman’s Purse Says About Her…

My mother would always say to me, “Vanity is the last thing a person loses.” Well as with many things, she was right.  I am experiencing it with her now.  Unlike my mother I have never been the “prissy” type and I say that out of love .  Mom was all about the frills, lace and fluff. She had all the lady like mannerisms that have stayed with her up to now . She was always dainty, her style was quite feminine and on the more “dress up” side.  Obviously many articles of clothing have changed but the style  and the fact that her things have to match, are still intact.  She was a big advocate of  matching her shoes to her purse. Now her mother always told her , “always look at a person’s shoes, it says a lot about them.” Interesting because my Grandfather, her husband, was a cobbler and so it seems like it was  a thread that ran through her upbringing.  I have memories as recent as this past holiday season of my Mom wanting a “new purse”, not because she ever wore one out or did not have enough of them but for some reason she needed one more.  Mind you she has acquired several purses from her sister-in-law who was also quite fashionable so there was no shortage of pocketbooks or purses in her closet.

I could not be anymore opposite in this regard because as soon as both our sons were old enough for me to put the diaper bag away I put every bag away and to this day most times I stuff my pockets, similar to Captain Kangaroo (I am sure not all of you know who he is, suffice it to say he had big full pockets!) for me I find  carrying a pocketbook or a purse is clumsy and cumbersome.  My Mother on the other hand will struggle with this bunch of material that has a strap and hangs around her wrist banging everything she walks past or what started  on her shoulder slips down her arm and gets in her way.  I have even known her to say this purse is such a pain in my ass. But would she ever leave it at home ?? Never.  Where she gets the patience to deal with something so unnecessary escapes me !! Now I realize I am probably making a lot of enemies here because, (and I know ladies) every girl must have a Gucci, Louis Vuitton, or one of many designer name pocketbooks or purses, some ladies must have more than one, but if I am going to spend thousands of dollars on anything, I guarantee you it will not be a strap with a container attached to it. Hopefully you are still reading…

The Security Of Carrying A Purse

So as I reflect on my Mom and also my Mother -in-law I have noticed that both of them still carry a pocketbook or a purse. Now it may be a generation thing… Of course my Mom is older as is my Mother-in-law but having said that there is still quite a connection to most women and their pocketbooks today.  Mind you because they are older women my Mom is 84 my Mother-in-Law 94 they do not have the responsibilities they use to.  No keys for the house, no wallet with money or charge cards, no keys for the car, no toys for the kids, no first aide kit and the list could go on and on. At this point maybe a wallet, glasses and Kleenex.  Must have Kleenex because one of the gifts you acquire as we all age seems to be a perpetual running nose so there will always be a Kleenex… such a great thing to look forward to but that’s OK, I will wipe my nose if  I can live to be 84!    My point being that the necessity of carrying a pocketbook has changed drastically for each of them.  But the pocketbook is still carried. It has now become a security blanket , something they identify with, something they refer to, grab on to, relate to.  I see it as a symbol of identification for them “Where’s my pocketbook?” my Mother-in-Law will ask.  She just wants to know it is nearby there is never really a reason , just the security of knowing her pocketbook is near. I have watched her arrange the contents as though she were filing some important documents and she needs to do that, it grounds her, it comforts her, it is her!  My Mom also arranges and makes sure she can grab things quickly, because as she ages she realizes it takes her longer to find things “Buy a smaller pocketbook” I tell her. That makes sense to me but she cannot let go of that image of a pocketbook she has always had. Believe me when I tell you her pocketbook is really a part of her security, it is a habit that she has carried with her literally and  I know even if there is nothing in it she will carry and hold on to her pocketbook .

A woman’s pocketbook is  synonymous with a child’s security blanket, they see it as a constant, it is a familiar item that has become part of their existence and when they hold onto that strap or feel it over their arm they are complete and can face their day one more day knowing they have their pocketbook…

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Thanks for reading along .

Best to you,

Lisa Monica